Impressions

The Way of the Superior Man is a playbook for living a life of fulfilment for men. It explores some of the most important issues in mens' lives - work, love and spirituality - offering a practical philosophy for living a masculine life of integrity, authenticity, and freedom. It is a very interesting read and full of straigtforward advice. The writing style is very philosophical and not very politically correct, but even if you don't agree with every word, it may change your life.

Top Quotes

“Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease, or women. Feel what you want to give most as a gift and do what you can to give it today. Every moment waited is a moment wasted, and each wasted moment degrades your clarity of purpose.”

“Intimacy is about growing more than you could by yourself, through the art of mutual gifting.”

“Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration”

“You are that which you seek, but you have left your own deepness and are looking elsewhere. The stress of not finding it creates its own need to be released. And so the cycle continues. You are chasing your own tail, and much of the time that tail looks suspiciously like a woman.”

Summary & Notes

Stop hoping for a completion of anything in life.

Stay in the moment and don’t put things off for the “right time”.

Do what you want to do, now.

Every moment waited is a moment wasted, and each moment wasted degrades your clarity of purpose.

Don’t close up when hurt. Be open.

It may hurt but it will allow you to act better in the situation.

Live like your father is dead, like you have no expectations put on you.

Be aware of, and admit, your fears and shortcomings. Don’t delude yourself. People will sense this and lose trust in you.

Live just beyond your edge.

A fearful man who is aware of his fear is much more trustworthy than a fearful man who isn’t aware. A fearful man who leans into his fear is more trustworthy than a fearful man who doesn’t.

Do everything from a place of love. Use everything you’ve got.

Most men’s ultimate reason for doing anything has to do with discovering their deepest truth, enjoying total freedom and love, and giving their fullest gifts.

Neither woman nor world are predictable. Be authentic and they will open up to you.

Talk to your friends about where you are all at. Then challenge each other with a behavioural experiment, something that will reveal something to you.

Choose friends who live at their edge.

If you don’t know your life’s purpose, your life’s purpose is to discover it.

Not knowing your purpose leads to an impotent existence. Being disconnected from your core creates an empty feeling.

By aligning your entire life to your deepest desire you live a truly fulfilling life.

The superior man is not seeking for fulfilment through work and woman, because he is already full.

Be willing to change everything in your life.

Be prepared to give 100% to your purpose, until you fulfil it or dissolve it, and then let go of that specific form of living. Be capable of not knowing what to do with your life and knowing that a vision or new form of purpose will emerge.

This cycle of purpose and uncertainty are natural for a man who is shedding layers of purpose.

A man’s purpose is like an onion. The center is his deepest purpose (eg. meditate and realise God) and it is surrounded by layers of lesser purpose (eg. date, do drugs, marry, have kids, develop a career, retire). Your life consists of penetrating these circles.

Your outer layers are often only distant approximations of your deepest purpose.

Successfully completing a lesser purpose doesn’t feel good for very long because it is preparation for advancing towards a greater embodiment of your deeper purpose.

Live each purpose until it becomes empty, boring or useless. Then discard it. This is growth, not failure.

You may be bailing out too soon (fear of failure, laziness). Ask your close friends if they think you are.

The other possibility is that you burned through a layer of purpose. These are the signs:

1. Sudden loss of interest when you were previously highly motivated,
2. You feel surprisingly free of any regrets for starting the project or ending it,
3. Even though you have no idea what to do next, you feel clear, unconfused and unburdened,
4. You feel an increase in energy at ceasing this project,
5. The project seems almost silly. Sure, you could do it, but why would you want to?

It is probably time to cease your project if you experience these signs. Clear up loose ends and end it cleanly.

The next layer may be clear immediately, or not. In that case, you must wait for a vision. You can’t rush this. Keep yourself open.

When it comes it usually won’t be detailed. Act on the impulse immediately and learn by trial and error what it is you are to do.

Don’t use your family as an excuse to be less than you can be.

Household work will not be shared between the woman and man symmetrically.

What is your deepest life purspose? If it’s family, you won’t need to concern about whether you’re using your family as an excuse.

Your children will feel when you are true to your purpose.

A short amount of time with a father who is present, full of love, undivided inside, and sure of his mission in life, will affect their children much more positively than if they shared lots of time with a father who isn’t true to his purpose.

Your children will replicate you.

It is better to hire daycarers than to compromise on your purpose.

It is common for men to get into a state of flow.

If you forget your larger purpose while pursuing the small and endless tasks of daily life, then you have reduce yourself to a machine.

Tasks are important but won’t add up to love and freedom.

Eliminate tasks that don’t align with your purpose.

Raise your eyes, see the horizon, and do your tasks in the spirit of sweeping out your house on a sunny day.

To help your remember the triviality of your daily tasks, take refreshers. Ponder profound topics. By remembering the infinite, you will never lose pespective and think that life is a matter of tasks.

Stop hoping for your woman to get easier.

Every moment in your life is either a test or a celebration.

Your woman will test you. It may not be conscious but she will always do it.

Always be totally loving and fully present with your woman.

Don’t sway when tested. Be true to your purpose. Remain full and strong, humorous and happy - and then you will pass the test.

This testing never ends.

She test you because she loves you. The most loving woman tests you the most.

The masculine grows by challenge but the feminine grows by praise.

The whole point of intimacy is to serve each other in growth and love, hopefully in better ways than we can serve ourselves.

Stay true to your word. Follow through.

If your woman is the point of your life, you are lost. You’ll be dependant on her for happiness too and she’ll notice. You have a gift to give, a purpose to fulfil.

She wants to know the center of your life, not be it.

You are always searching for freedom.

Sports → freedom from the constraint of the other team.

All masculine goals are directed towards more freedom.

By dissowning your darkest desires you suppress your energy flow.

Fearlessness is attractive.

There is never a shortage of women.

Your level of intent and consistency determine your results.

A man refines his purpose in solitude, and in the company of other, brutally honest, men.

Singing and dancing is no cure for a lack of purpose.

There are two ways to get to your masculine edge: austerity (removing comforts) and challenge.

Practice dissolving into a moment.

Die in the giving of your gift.

Fear is your final excuse. Don’t fight it. Love through it.

Note: This is a very dumbed down summary because I don't wanna be cancelled :)

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